Say Hello to AutoRaaise: Fundraising So Easy, It’s Basically Fiction

Hi ,

Big news from Team Raaise.

After months of intense development, sleepless nights, and far too many oat lattes, we’re launching the future of fundraising: AutoRaaise™.

It’s simple:

• Upload your pitch deck

• Turn your phone off

• Head to the beach

AutoRaaise™ will take care of the rest.

It doesn’t just email investors. It builds your data room. It models your financials. It negotiates your term sheet. It even adds those strategic “founder reflections” at the end of your updates (you know the ones).

Need to jump on a pitch call? AutoRaaise™ has trained on your LinkedIn, WhatsApps, Zoom calls, and podcast appearances. It knows your voice better than your co-founder. Honestly, it might even pitch better than you.

Our beta testers reported:
✅ 47% more funding
✅ 83% fewer investor meetings
✅ 100% more time on the beach building sandcastles

Coming soon:

• AutoRaaise™ Build™: Codes your MVP, hires your first devs, and creates your Notion workspace from scratch.

• AutoRaaise™ HR: Builds your team, sets your culture, and does 1:1s with your staff (it’s surprisingly empathetic).

• AutoRaaise™ Exit: Negotiates your acquisition and ghostwrites your viral Medium post about how you built a unicorn from idea to exit in two weeks, sold it for billions, and yes—somehow it also pooped sparkly turds that made everyone billionaires. All while you meditated on a beach in Bali.

📅 Launching Today—1st April, 2025. Beta slots filling fast. (You just have to believe.)

🔥 Ready to raise without lifting a finger? Just tap your heels together three times and whisper, “There’s no place like Pre-Seed.”

Or, if you still believe in good old-fashioned founder hustle... sign up here and raise capital the smart (human) way.

Happy April Fools, legends. You’re still doing the hard work. We’re just here to make it a whole lot easier.

Amy and the (real) Team @ Raaise

Okay, so maybe we haven’t quite cracked AutoRaaise™ (yet). But, what we have built is a platform that genuinely saves founders hundreds of hours.

🤝 Match with aligned investors—no more wasting time on the wrong conversations
💥 Connect through the right channels—get your pitch in front of decision-makers, fast.
🏁 Streamline the entire raise—from deck to data room to deal—without the drama.

🔥 If you’re ready to raise smarter (no sandcastles required), sign up here and take your funding journey to the next level.